“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Pet. 3:7)
The differences between men and women are not only astronomical they are often humorous. Someone listed our differences like this:
- He is a man. She is a woman.
- He prioritizes the sexual relationship. She prioritizes affection, communication, and understanding.
- He thinks she should prioritize the sexual relationship. She thinks he should prioritize affection, communication, and understanding.
- He banishes problems by not bringing them up. She forgets problems by talking about them.
- He believes it is not important to talk. She believes it is very important to talk.
- He believes a solution makes everyone feel better. She feels better if he listens without giving a solution.
- He thrives on appreciation (REVERENCE). She thrives on communication, affection and understanding (LOVE).
Differences 4, 5, and 6 are the ones I want to discuss. As men, we like to think over a problem, then chew on the problem, and then think on it some more. If we can solve it, we do. If we can’t solve it, we put it in its own little box and pretty much ignore it. Our wives are not that way at all. They are designed by God to get it out of their system by verbalizing it. She needs to talk about things because she feels better just by talking about it.
The difference in number 6 is a huge one. We men like to repair the problem. We think it through and then take the time to share what should be done about it. Sometimes we don’t even think it through. We just share what pops into our head! Neither one works. Here is why and here is what we should understand about it.
Our wife is designed by God to not only feel things but to share the things she feels! As a man, one of the ways you can show your wife you understand her is to listen sympathetically and simply acknowledge that you are hearing her thoughts. Show interest in what she is saying and let her talk. The hardest thing is to “feel” what she is saying, especially if she is upset at you. Here is the best advice I can give you: let her share her feelings and get it out of her system. Then, say something like this: “I am sorry I made you feel that way. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Will you forgive me for doing so?
Your wife is emotional and needs to talk about her emotions. That is okay because God designed her that way. So, work at understanding that. You will be glad you did.
This chapter was written by Evangelist Dave Young.
The chapter is taken from The Extraordinary Husband. CLICK HERE for more details.