“Let the husband render unto his wife due benevolence…” (I Cor. 7:3)
My wife and I have been married for nearly 32 years, and I have never bought her a dozen roses. In fact, I never did before we were married either, and possibly I never will. On occasion, I have given her a single rose on Mother’s Day or a wedding anniversary, but I have never paid for more than one rose. Wait—I do remember that during the first few years of our marriage I did some part-time work for a funeral home. There were times when flower arrangements were being disposed of and I would grab a few roses to take home to my wife. Now, I know that at this point you are thinking I am really cheap and that showing love to my wife must not be worth much to me, but let me explain.
Though my wife has never received a dozen roses from me, she has received many hand-picked bouquets of wild flowers. I have come through the door on various occasions carrying a colorful collection of beautiful flowers that I gathered on my walk. I know, you still think I am cheap since roses cost $29.95 a dozen and wild flowers are free, but that is the point I am trying to make. True love is valuable, not because of its price tag, but because of that which make it priceless, the giving of ourselves to another person.
Picking flowers takes thought. I am thinking about her and what she really likes. Picking flowers takes time. I am taking time for her that I am not taking for myself. Picking flowers may mean that I get mud on my shoes. Though inconvenient for me, I am letting her know she is special. Picking flowers may mean I get a thorn in my finger or a scratch on my hand. I want to do what I can to make her happy. Are you beginning to understand the value of things that sometimes do not even have a price tag?
1 Corinthians 7:3 uses the word “benevolence” which is a relatively unfamiliar word to most of us. However, the literal meaning of the word is “the kindness that she deserves.” It is a word that speaks of not just buying, but doing, or better yet, being all that you can to your wife as you express your love for her. Sometimes husbands use their credit card to show love, but they do it as a buy out that excuses them from giving of themselves, which is the true measure of love. A gift card to the spa, a box of chocolates, or even a dozen roses can be a treat at times, but they must never replace you and the love you share through the giving of yourself for her. When true love is expressed by a husband and true love is experienced by a wife, a loving relationship will mature and grow for a lifetime. Go ahead and try to put a price tag on that—you can’t!
Action Point: Select a way that you could share your life and love your wife today. Pick one of the following:
- Bring her a cup of coffee, not from Starbucks, but from the kitchen ($0.00)
- Give her a great big smile across the room ($0.00)
- Write a little love letter in your own handwriting and put it on her pillow ($0.00)
- Walk up behind her and give her a super hug ($0.00)
- Pick and prepare a bouquet of wild flowers and put them in a vase on the kitchen counter ($0.00)
- Of course, if you have a better idea that is fine too, as long at its FREE!
This chapter was written by Evangelist Tom Palmer
The chapter is taken from The Extraordinary Husband. CLICK HERE for more details.