Do you remember how you “courted” your wife before you were married?

Your sole aim was to please your bride-to-be. You were extravagant. You were spontaneous. You took the time, effort, and expense to woo and win your mate. Saying “I do” should not conclude the romance—it should be the commencement.

Issac was dwelling in Gerar with his wife, Rebekah. She was a beautiful woman. Issac feared for his life so when asked about his wife, he said she was his sister. He was afraid they would kill him and take Rebekah. One day the king of the Philistines looked out his window and saw Issac “sporting” (laughing, playing) with Rebekah. Abimelech knew something was up as he witnessed how Issac was interacting with Rebekah. This “sporting” threw up a red-flag, so the king did his homework and discovered Rebekah was Issac’s wife! Married people need to “sport”—laugh, play, and enjoy one another.

The birth of children dramatically changes the landscape of the home. The myriad of responsibilities and necessities press in on the marriage relationship. As the Romance wears off, the Routine sets in. Routine leads to a Rut which is a clear sign that REKINDLING is priority one!

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5:25). If you have lost that “loving feeling,” start acting like you love your wife, and the feeling will return. Love is first of all a CHOICE. It is a binding COMMITMENT. Someone said, “You will come a lot closer to ACTING your way into Feeling right than Feeling your way into ACTING right!”

Loving Your Wife

  1. Plan a Date Night. Maybe it has been a while since you last went out on a date. Send her a text or note and tell her that you have planned a special night for just the two of you. Explain the appropriate dress for the evening. Arrange the babysitter. Make reservations. Open the door for her. Use your imagination to make this night “her night.” Go to a place that she really likes.
  2. Give Her Gifts. Buy flowers even if it is not Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, or her birthday. Spontaneous gifts communicate thoughtfulness. These expressions of concern are meaningful. If you are clueless, seek out ideas. The women who work in jewelry stores can offer suggestions.
  3. Attend a Couples’ Advance or Marriage Retreat. We are so fortunate to have so many focused conferences to instruct and inspire “oneness” in marriage. This investment involves some costs, but can PAY tremendous dividends! Your marriage is the most important horizontal relationship you have—INVEST IN IT!
  4. Surprise her with a Vacation. She may have a “dream vacation” destination. Maybe it’s a cruise to Alaska, the Caribbean, or Europe. Perhaps she would like to go to Hawaii. If this is not possible, plan a weekend get-away. Think ahead. Plan. Prepare. Create memories.

Additional Resources:

Couples’ Advance — CLICK HERE to check our website for the next event

This chapter was taken from The Extraordinary Husband

CLICK HERE to learn more about the book and to place your order.


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Harold Vaughan

View posts by Harold Vaughan
Evangelist Harold Vaughan is the founder of Christ Life Ministries, Inc. To date, his ministry has led him to preach in forty-eight states and many foreign countries. Click on "ABOUT" in the menu bar to learn more about Harold.
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