Proverbs says he that finds a wife finds a “good thing”—a TREASURE! Men seek all kinds of treasure, but your wife is the most valuable. In order to properly value your mate, you must see marriage from God’s point of view.
This whole idea of matrimony was God’s idea. Your wife is your greatest prize! She is more than a maid, a surrogate mother, or a concubine for your convenience. She is God’s gift to you, and such a gift is to be highly treasured.
Understanding the Multiple Purposes of Marriage
- Partnership. In Genesis we read, “It is not good that the man should be alone (2:18).” God is the Master Matchmaker. The LORD put Adam under anesthesia, removed one of his ribs, and created Eve. She was taken from his side to be by his side. Eve was a “help meet,” which means helpmate, helper, or counterpart. She was Adam’s partner—his completer.
- Pro-creation. The first couple was instructed, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). Having been given dominion over the earth, God intended marriage to propagate the human family. The book of Malachi emphatically states the purpose of marriage is to “seek a godly seed” (2:15).
- Purity. “To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife” (1 Cor. 7:2). The Bible is a practical book. The LORD recognizes our “humanness” and gives us an outlet for our physical drives. Paul also said, “It is better to marry than to burn” (1 Cor. 7:9). I read somewhere that sexual desire is not something you conquer, but it is something you learn to manage. Becoming a Christian does not eliminate your human cravings and desires. God’s purpose is to bring proper balance, and marriage is designed to assist in this. “Marriage is honourable (valuable, esteemed) in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4).
- Promise. Marriage is more than a social contract—it is a covenant. A covenant is a solemn agreement which binds two parties together. This covenant of companionship is clearly described in Malachi 2:14, “The wife of thy youth…thy companion…the wife of thy covenant.” God’s ideal is clear—the woman you marry is yours “til death do us part.”
- Pleasure. “Therefore shall a man…cleave (join together) unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:24-25). Men and women possess not only souls and spirits, but bodies as well. The divinely inspired Song of Solomon is a manual on the physical aspect of marriage. Married life is a journey, and we are supposed to enjoy the ride. The Creator intended marriage for our pleasure. The wisdom book named Proverbs states, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished (intoxicated) always with her love” (5:18-19).
- Progression. Becoming “one flesh” is a process. The marriage relationship should be a greenhouse for sanctification. This intimate connection serves as a microscope in detecting selfishness and is the perfect classroom for empowering grace. Practicing the “one another” commands in the home is the means to building unity between a man and his wife. Martha said, “Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died…” The same thing could be said of countless homes. Forgiving one another, bearing with one another, praying for one another, exhorting one another, and practicing the other reciprocal commands creates a climate where the Holy Spirit feels at home. And where the Spirit of God is there is life. The Bible tells us to “Grow in grace and knowledge.” Marriage is a perfect environment to “grow in grace.” Marriage counseling is not primarily about “techniques” and “How to’s…” Rather it is about thinking Biblically, responding Biblically, acting Biblically, and living vertically in a horizontal world. Spiritual progression begins at home.
- Picture. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32). Marriage is a living photograph of the union God has with His church. Adam said of Eve, “This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Gen. 2:23). The solidarity of the marriage union reflects the cohesion of Christ and His redeemed ones. “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones” (Eph. 5:30).
By understanding God’s design and purpose for marriage, we can see the importance of appreciating and cherishing our most valuable treasure—our wives.
Action Point: Demonstrate your appreciation for your wife through practical means. Take her shopping, send her a text, intentionally listen to her, or do something she enjoys.
Taken from “The Extraordinary Husband” CLICK HERE to order your copy.
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