Respecting Your Wife


And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted…” (Eph. 4:32)

It is possible to treat total strangers better than the people you live with! Familiarity can bring contempt. Respect begins with a choice about your attitude. A deliberate attitude will lead to actions. One of the most important actions is your speech—the words you choose to use when communicating with your wife.
Respect is displayed by kindness. A crucified man is not contentious. It has been stated, “The tongue is never satisfied, and it must be crucified.” The Cross is the needed instrument to purge the poison out of that little red-devil—the tongue. The tongue is in a wet place and it is easy for it to slip!

Respecting Your Wife Means You are Kind in Every Situation

  • God is KIND.The LORD your God…is…of great kindness” (Joel 2:13). His mercies are new every morning.
  • The Fruit of the Spirit is KINDNESS. Galatians 5:22 states, “The fruit of the Spirit is…gentleness.” Gentleness equals kindness. A Spirit-filled husband is empowered with kindness. This rare quality comes from the Spirit—“By kindness, by (or “in”) the Holy Ghost” (2 Cor. 6:6). Someone said, “If we are not very kind we are not very holy.”
  • Kindness is a LAW. Proverbs describes the virtuous woman, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (31:26). Her language is administered and regulated by love. Her wisdom is demonstrated by placing order over her tongue. The law of kindness is not gender-specific. Virtuous men speak kindly as well.
  • Kindness is the Proof of LOVE.Charity (love)…is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4). There are a multitude of characteristics that accompany love, and kindness is at the top of the list. “A smile is the welcome mat at the doorway of kindness”, said William Ward. You can increase your face-value by pleasantly smiling at your wife.
  • Kindness is COMMANDED.And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). Don’t wait until your wife starts “treating you right.” Take the initiative and do right because it is right. In time it will become natural. “A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve”, said Joseph Joubert. Grace demands we minister to others just as God has been generous to us.
  • Kindness is REWARDED. Sowing and reaping happen in the natural world. Farmers must plant before they harvest. Sowing and reaping also occur in the spiritual realm. God rewards the good things you do for others by doing the same for you—“Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord” (Eph. 6:8). Kindness is impossible to give away, it keeps bouncing back.

J. C. Ryle said, “Kindness always brings its own reward. The kind person will seldom be without friends.” You can win the heart of your wife with kindness. By showing kindness, you will cultivate friendship and intimacy with your bride. Listen to this wise saying from Albert Schweitzer, “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and inhospitality to evaporate.”

Speak your kind words soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. Start NOW and foster a deeper friendship with words and deeds of kindness. Kindness will make you feel good whether it’s being done to you or by you.

Truth in Action: Be gracious to your wife. Give a card. Buy flowers. Take her out for dinner. Do something NOW and begin a lifestyle of indiscriminate kindnesses.

Taken from “The Extraordinary Husband” CLICK HERE to order your copy.

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  1. Mihai CzentyeApril 16, 2020

    Great teaching. A husband thanks you.

    1. Harold VaughanApril 16, 2020

      You are welcome! Happy the article was a blessing!


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Harold Vaughan

View posts by Harold Vaughan
Evangelist Harold Vaughan is the founder of Christ Life Ministries, Inc. To date, his ministry has led him to preach in forty-eight states and many foreign countries. Click on "ABOUT" in the menu bar to learn more about Harold.
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