Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:26–27
We just considered one of the top problems all of us face: the issue of the tongue. Ephesians 4:26 now addresses a second matter: that of anger. Anger has the power to do irreparable damage to a marriage and family. It is always a destructive force in a home. Consider the truths taught in Ephesians 4:26–27 regarding this problem.
Emotions are normal but frequently wrong. Paul said, “Be ye angry . . .” Anger has controlled all of us at times. It is a normal worldly response to injustices, real or imaginary. It is a normal human response when we don’t get our way or are frustrated. It is a normal response when we feel that someone has been condescending to us. We often say that a person “lost their temper,” but no one really loses his temper; rather, his temper is obvious for everyone to see. A man may punch a wall or, worse, his wife and kids. A person may raise his voice and yell at someone. A child may scream uncontrollably because he didn’t get his way. We even call it “road rage” if anger erupts while a person is driving his car. Emotions are a normal part of life. When managed correctly, they can be a delightful part of life, but misused anger can do considerable, and sometimes irrevocable, damage.
Anger leads us to sin. “Be ye angry, and sin not,” is Paul’s admonition. Although emotions are normal, it is never right to respond to others or the events of our lives in anger. Anger leads to sin when we say things we shouldn’t say or respond harshly to someone or even raise our voices in frustration and irritation. Solomon wrote centuries ago, “A soft answer turneth away wrath” (Prov. 15:1), and that is still true today. Man’s wrath does not work the righteousness of God (see James 1:20). Our anger undermines the work that God wants to accomplish through our lives. Think of the damage an angry father can do. A man’s rage may cause his children to think that God responds like their father does. When we allow our children to throw temper tantrums and chuckle about their behavior and fail to correct them, we are setting them up for a lifetime of problems. Their anger may eventually cost them a job. It may cost them a marriage. It may even someday drive our grandchildren far from God. Anger certainly leads to sin!
It is imperative that we take anger seriously. As fathers and mothers, we must learn to submit our emotions to God’s Word. The psalmist said, “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee” (Ps. 119:11). The heart, as it is referenced in the Bible, includes our thoughts (minds), our decisions (wills), and our emotions (responses).
When dealing with anger, we must hide God’s Word in our hearts so that the Holy Spirit can use it to sanctify us. Only the Holy Spirit can help us over-come our tempers. He notifies us of our failures. He arrests us when we are headed for failure and leads us to respond to others with love. Read 1 Corinthians 13 for a full listing of what our love will look like when we are controlled by the Spirit.
We must correct anger not only in our own lives, but we must firmly and fervently deal with it in our children’s lives. If our children have anger issues (whether quiet defiance or loud explosions), it is our job to correct those. We must teach our children that their responses are unacceptable and then apply appropriate discipline. Administering a time out, removing some privilege, or giving a loving spanking may be necessary. We should teach our children the Word of God and have them memorize passages. We should pray with them about their anger. We must correct them every single time they become angry. Whatever we do, we must not ignore the issue of anger. It is deadly and destructive.
Anger leaves an open door for the enemy to attack our lives. Scripture says, “Neither give place to the devil.” When we allow anger to rule our emotions and responses, we open the door for the enemy to attack our lives, marriage, and homes. He loves using our emotions to disrupt God’s plans for our homes. He destroys peace, love, and trust.
May God help each of us to win over the issue of anger!
Action Points
- Is anger negatively impacting your home?
- What would your spouse and children say about the anger issue in your family?
- What steps do you need to take to address this matter?
This chapter was written by Evangelist Dave Young.
This chapter is taken from our book “Home Improvement- Keys To Building A Happy Home“. CLICK HERE to learn more about this book and to place your order.
