“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones” (Pro. 3:5–8).
There is nothing more disheartening than when things don’t go as planned, when expectations are dissolved, and people disappoint!
OUR HUSBANDS:
One of the first things that came to my mind when I thought about this subject was how every girl dreams of her knight in shining armor! He comes riding in on a white horse and swoops you up, and together you ride off into the sunset. He’s going to treat you like a queen, and you will live in complete bliss and harmony all the days of your life.
It starts off so wonderful, and then everyday life begins, and clothes are on the floor, dirty dishes on the counter (just above the dishwasher), and all the lights are left on. And I’m sure many other transgressions come to your mind, but let’s just let it rest there.
I remember as a child hearing my mother say that when you get married you can change your husband for the better. Then, when I got engaged, she reminded me of that sage advice. We were married in 1977, and I put her advice to use. It turned out to be the worst thing I could have done! It made him feel unworthy and not valued. Then, I began to think about how I would feel if he did that to me!
I was working at our local hospital at the time and came across a self-help book written by a Christian lady on what makes for a good marriage. Little did I know that this book would change my view on marriage and give me solid principles on which to build. I stopped trying to change him and began building him up. Our marriage grew by leaps and bounds!
OUR SCHEDULE:
This subject used to be a tender one for me. Each morning, after my time with God, I like to write my plan for the day. I like to have time limits on each task because it motivates me to work more efficiently. Then, I get started and the phone rings or I get a text, and everything is interrupted! It’s frustrating. I’m not OCD; but when you only have a day, maybe two, to get everything done around the house, it’s hard.
There came a time, so many years ago, when this happened on such a frequent basis that I finally realized that I needed to be more flexible and give my schedule over to God. I give everything else over to Him—why not my schedule?
So, now as I write out my daily plan each morning, I think to myself, “Well, God-willing, I will do this and that.” We don’t know what a day will bring. God’s priorities come before a spotless house. That won’t matter so much in eternity. My June Cleaver existence will be shattered in the light of God’s disapproval. I can’t make my time my god. If I do, God will bust through it every time.
I have found this to be true: when I honor God with my time by giving Him the first part of it, praying over my schedule, and remembering to be flexible for Him whenever He needs me, He will “stop the clock” for me and I will get so much more done. Who knew!!
Action Points:
- Expectations will kill any relationship, whether it be your relationship with your husband, a family member or a friend. Seek to be kind, sweet, understanding, and accepting.
- Learn to view your husband as you did when you were dating. He could do no wrong then!
- Leave everything to God. When your husband upsets you, run to God, not to mom and dad! Only God can change what needs to be changed—or you.
- Remember, God is your best Friend. He will never leave you, forsake you, or disappoint you.
- Be flexible. Give your schedule to God and let the rest go! He will honor anything you thought you lost when you give priority to Him.
This chapter was written by Joanne Weigel. Joanne is the wife of Pastor Michael Weigel, Ocean County Baptist Church, Tom’s River, NJ.
The chapter was taken from The Extraordinary Wife
