“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountain be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” (Pro. 5:15–19).
Men and women think very differently on the subject of sex. God designed us differently. Sex is such a taboo subject among our church people, but God cares about it. He created it, and not just for procreation, but for recreation as well. Sex should be fun! If you are not experiencing sexual fulfillment, you are missing out on a very important part of your marriage relationship. This is why so many marriages break up. Sex is like glue for our marriages. Sex is the only single experience that you and your husband have together that is never to be shared. You may be a good cook, and your husband will have to share your culinary skills with friends and family. He may be a good musician, and you will have to share his talent with others. The same goes with appearances, manners, and every other area of life. Sex, however, is unique. It is the only thing that is special and excluded from the world.
In the passage from Proverbs, the woman is described as a cistern and a well; the man is a fountain. A well is deep and must be drawn out. You need a pump or a bucket to get something out of it. You don’t, however, need anything to draw out of a fountain. It flows freely on its own. Usually, men don’t know that they are living with a well. They are mad because the well is not jumping all over them. But no well jumps out! It must be drawn out, stimulated, and aroused. This starts emotionally and mentally. But that gives us no excuse for not meeting our husband’s needs and desires. We are to be satisfying at all times, and he is to be ravished by our love always, verse 19 says. We are to be intoxicating to him. Your attitude towards sex is one of the keys that will unlock the door to your marital happiness.
Be His Sugar
Sugar is a sweetener. It can make bitter things taste good. People use sugar in coffee and tea. This world can be such a bitter place, especially to your spouse. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Your words should be sweet to your husband. Use your words to boost his ego. Compliment his actions and accomplishments. Make him feel like a king!
Be His Spice
This is a little harder for us. We have been done a disservice and in return have done a disservice to the next generation of women by not broaching the subject of sex biblically. We are so uncomfortable with our husbands sexually. We have been taught the importance of modesty and purity, yet we are never taught how to let our guard down in the confines of our own bedroom after marriage. We need to force ourselves into being comfortable with sex. Beyond that, we need to learn how to be the mood setters. You should be flirting with him all day long.
Action Points:
If you put time and energy in trying to set the mood for your husband, you end up being pretty excited yourself. Go ahead and give it a try!
- Put notes on the bathroom mirror or by the coffee pot.
- Text him throughout the day, letting him know how special his evening is going to be and that you are cooking a romantic dinner.
- Wear something (or nothing) just for him.
- Wear a perfume that only is used for intimate times (this will drive him crazy knowing what is to come).
- Light candles for ambiance and play some romantic music.
This chapter was written by Hollie Vaughn. Hollie is married to Pastor Dan Vaughn.
This chapter was taken from The Extraordinary Wife. CLICK HERE to learn more about the book.
