A large percentage of young people today grow up without a father leading their home. The fabric of our civilization is fraying—largely due to absent or passive fathers. One of the stated goals of the political left is to dismantle the nuclear family, but the truth remains: every child needs the steadying presence of an involved father or strong male role model. As the father goes, so goes the home.
Fathers, what do your children need from you?
1. Your Attention
Children long for a father who engages with them. I remember playing in a sand pile as a child, building things with great enthusiasm. My father sat nearby on the porch in his rocking chair. I vividly recall wishing he would notice what I was doing. I deeply desired his approval.
At Jesus’ baptism, the Father declared from heaven, “Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11). These words reflect how vital a father’s affirmation is. Yes, correction is sometimes needed—but never neglect the need for approval. Be generous with praise. Speak words of affirmation. Recognize and celebrate what your children do well.
2. Your Affection
A loving father doesn’t ignore bad behavior—he corrects it. Affection includes discipline. Scripture teaches, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth…what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement…then are ye bastards, and not sons” (Hebrews 12:6–8).
To refuse correction is to functionally disown your child. A man who truly loves his children treats them as legitimate heirs, not as strangers. God disciplines His children and expects earthly fathers to do the same.
3. Your Time
I once heard a man say, “You don’t need to spend more time with your children—your children need to spend more time with you.” There’s truth in that. Children should journey through life alongside their fathers. Involve them in your world as much as possible. Let them work with you, learn from you, and witness how you solve problems.
Select projects that allow you to collaborate—build a shed, fix a car, paint a room, start a garden, take care of animals, or work side-by-side in your occupation. Recreation and hobbies are valuable, but productive time together often leads to the best quality time.
4. Your Authority
Your home needs your leadership. Someone is going to be in charge—it should be you. Child-centered parenting is a recipe for dysfunction. Coddling rebellion leads to heartbreak. Forget the endless warnings and weak “time-outs.” Demand obedience and discipline disobedience with clarity and purpose. If a parent refuses to correct their child, that child will inevitably bring punishment to the parent.
Discipline is central to character formation. Stop listening to the “religious psychobabblers” and assert rightful authority in your home. Weak fathers raise weak sons. Discipline, properly applied, creates security and a foundation for character growth.
5. Your Involvement
This cannot be overstated: be a hands-on dad. Listen. Talk. Work. Encourage. Direct. Challenge. Serve God together. Give your children responsibility. Let them take manageable risks.
Growing up in the country gave me many such opportunities. My brother and I worked hard, played hard, hunted, played baseball, and learned to interact with adults. My uncle introduced me to fishing when I was around seven—and I was hooked for life.
Don’t micromanage every move your children makes. Give them space appropriate to their maturity. Live life together. When they grow up, your relationship can transition into a friendship—but that begins by cultivating closeness while they’re young.
6.Your Example
Children learn how to live by watching you. Start by showing what love and commitment to their mother looks like. Teach them by example.
My dad was a farmer. Our small farm wasn’t just our livelihood—it was my training ground. I was five when I was first told to drive a John Deere tractor. Instructions were minimal, but I learned by doing.
We lived a half-mile from a rural back road. Dad bought a ’51 Chevy coupe for my brother and me to drive to the school bus stop. I was eight years old, driving that car on our farm—and on the paved country road nearby! It was a different time.
I hunted, fished, siphoned gas, and kept myself busy—without video games or smartphones. My father was frugal. When I was six, he opened savings and checking accounts for my brother and me. He paid us once a year, and it was up to us to manage the funds. Of course, the money didn’t last, but he taught us the value of earning, saving, and responsibility. The savings account was off-limits until we were old enough to buy our first car—legally!
Fathers, your role is irreplaceable. Your children need you. Prioritize your family now—and avoid the regrets that come from neglect. Be present. Be strong. Be engaged.
Harold Vaughan
